almost 8 years ago
holding another me's body
alice hargreaves
my final body
nicola cowper
"My final body"

Well, this is truly an odd one. Some of the exact same elements were also in my wife’s dream with no possible conscious associations whatsoever. Near the beginning, I am aware that there is a “new” sun coming out as a result of the old one “wearing out” and the new one has to be broken in before the world is fully lit by it again (this also seems to mean the human race itself is no longer fit as a living organism and also, for the most part, needs to be eventually “replaced” by a new human-like species). There is some sort of odd ambiguity and word play here that is often of a vague level only found in dreams. The “break in” seems to relate both to something having a crack or break in it as well as to “break something in” as it being new (my wife actually was aware that I said “there’s a crack in it” while half-asleep but does not recall that element in her “version” of the dream – however, at the time, I was seeing vivid imagery of detailed engravings, mostly of trees, on gray, cracking stones, but with some sort of odd, translucent and “glassy” thicker layer between the outer surface and the engravings at times). It still seems to be normal daylight after a time, though. There was still some unusual imagery with the sun appearing differently.

I am in a car (possibly a 1991 white Cadillac Eldorado, although a bit too spacious inside in front of the backseat to be a real car, I think), in the backseat on the right-hand side. It is a rural area with grassy waysides and no close-by buildings. I believe my wife had been driving (left hand drive, so we may be in the USA) although there had been another car behind us that also seemed a part of our travels somehow – it was yellow and smaller but I don’t remember the make (in my wife’s version it was a yellow 1980 Volkswagen Beetle). On the right wayside of the road near where the car is parked are two suspicious boys of about twelve or thirteen with bicycles who are apparently waiting for a chance to steal some money my oldest son had gotten in the mail as a Christmas present. I am amazed by their audacity. The envelope has only five American dollars in one dollar bills and my wife hands me the envelope through the left-front side for some reason. They put their arms through the window from my right and I push them back and ask my wife to give me a gun (more just to intimidate them to make them leave).

However, my body is suddenly without an occupant but I am then immediately in my “new” body. This happened rather quickly. The boys move away after this, possibly being disturbed by the sight of someone “dying”. I am holding my “real” body looking down at it with an extremely strange awareness and mood. It is exactly like me – well, because it is me, but only a recently lifeless, floppy form. In a short time, it is like holding dense water balloons that are slowly getting smaller (and thinner and lighter around the joints, almost like a heavy cloth marionette – but still much like a real organic body), except for “my” head (which is to my left), which remains the same size as the rest of “my” body gets smaller, soon being about the size of a ten-year-old, before getting smaller and smaller. I am holding “me” on “my” back, “my” head with red, dry eyes, and a body with no more life. My “old body” cannot be “lived in” again.

After a few minutes, my head (which is all that is left) is on the floor of the backseat. There is another “head”, but it appears to be more like a plastic container after a short time – seemingly a Halloween candy bucket representing an actor’s head (possibly Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka), yet it also seems like a football helmet at one point. I put “my” head inside the “helmet”/bucket for later burial at a nearby park. This seems to borrow loosely from a scene from the television series “Seven Days” (which I haven’t seen in years, the third season being some of the goofiest, most inconsistent and mind-numbingly awful, most surreal television I’ve ever seen), where Frank is holding a woman that is “aging in reverse”. She gets smaller and smaller until becoming a baby, then vanishing with a gurgling baby sound and soft cry into nothing - with a weird echo – (hilariously jaw-dropping strangeness).

After a time, the car starts going by itself, getting faster and faster. It even turns perfectly and sharply around a bend in the road without incident (likely borrowed from a similar scene from the movie “Christine” from 1983). It is almost fun, but I need to get back to my family, so I manage to climb into the front seat, take control, and slow it down and turn it around to get back to where my family and the other car is. There seems to be a “practiced” parallel dream where the car does “crash” (or almost tip over, but recover) very slightly like a dream within a dream, but seemingly from another “source” outside of myself (explained by my wife’s version of the dream, apparently).

Upon arrival, I tell my wife that my “new”, otherwise fresh (present) body will only last about a day and will be the “last one” ever. It is something to do with the body being too recent or new and not being able to “break it in” properly (highly ambiguous word play on breaking in my new body after my last body was “broken” or worn out). This seems to be related to the sun theme about “breaking in the new sun” (after the old one had a “break” – yet another ambiguous word play, as having a break also means taking a rest) as if the sun and I were symbolic of each other (very similar to the related eerie scene from the “Golden Years” series from 1991 – which also has the theme of becoming younger instead of older and the sun and time going “backwards” – I only realized this connection to the “Seven Days” association in recent afterthought). There is a strange sense of sadness and knowledge of my “vanishing out of existence” in a short time. My wife seems very sad. (I have no idea what is going on here – apparently I have a new body when the previous one is worn out – not sure if each looks the same or if I am presently “someone else” in body.)

Time passes, and the dream shifts. I am lying on my back (apparently either on the ground, or just under the surface of the ground in a shallow grave) with my eyes closed, and hear the sound of water flowing to my right (as if near a river or stream). Someone is calling out very vividly and clearly “Lucy…Lucy…Lucy…” (Nicola Cowper) - in not quite a demanding way, but seemingly out of a slight concern for my whereabouts. Apparently I am the fictional (?) (and female yet) Lucy from “Dreamchild” (1985) - and Alice Hargreaves (Alice Liddell as an older woman, but seemingly still only around forty or younger as I seem to sense this) is looking for me. I am only slightly annoyed, but I just want to rest in peace and be alone for a few thousand years as the river “breaks down my pixels” and washes my existence away. I have not opened my eyes and am still not sure if I am lying on the ground or just under the surface of the dirt and grass. Around this time, I get a very vague impression of the well-known Wonka quote “You're turning violet, Violet!” My skin is apparently becoming purple and my lips are a darker purple, but more like coarse leather. She (Alice) seemingly wants to talk about something that happened that caused us to be in conflict for a long time (at least ten years?) and perhaps to apologize; I am not sure. This part becomes fully lucid and the voice still very vivid, yet I emerge out of sleep fairly quickly. There was a very subtle, almost subliminal “ringing” effect to the vocal sound (or soft, layered and slightly modulated higher pitches), something that usually only happens with me during the beginning of sleep paralysis, but in this case, apparently some sort of remarkable (but highly impersonal) hypnopompic effect.

The “breaks down my pixels” part may have something to do with the new “World's Craziest Fools” television show, which by far has the most awful-quality imagery I’ve ever seen in my lifetime –far beyond anything I could have ever imagined years ago, many so bad, it is little more than looking like large, blurry, shifting squares (you might as well be looking at a blank screen – although a lot of people probably wouldn’t even notice). Sometimes, I truly wonder what is going on in people’s minds out there in the world. It is truly unpleasant (even disturbing) to even attempt to look at such things. (There were a lot of people several years back that stated how unpleasant and artificially mosaic-like digital television was to look at, including myself, but these low quality videos are astoundingly awful and pointless.)

My wife’s dream journal entry will closely follow this one (only on the two main sites she has an account on).

Again with my bad graphics. Sorry about that.

"The character of Lucy (played by Nicola Cowper from 'Break in the Sun') was entirely fictional. When Alice Liddell Hargreaves came to the States to celebrate Lewis Carroll's birth she was accompanied by her son Caryl and her sister Rhoda."

There's an astounding level of related pop culture references in this dream. (Even in the movie "Christine", the car rebuilds itself every time it is wrecked.)

I should probably also mention that my wife was born near Cowper Street in Port Kembla around the time of the Elvis gold Cadillac arrival there (1968).

my final body
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alice hargreaves
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nicola cowper
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holding another me's body
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theta b3.0
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