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Grandma with a bucket body. White Tigers. Lake Michigan. that house.

im having to try and recall this days later, derived from very sloppy notes that i took. i will try my best.

i was somewhere on lake michigan.
my notes say: killed Gma, lake michigan water rave.

pretty sure i was not the one who killed my gma. i remember how sad it was. she was in a bed, in her state sort of like she was after her stroke. she was unhappy, in a bed. her torso was just a white bucket, upside down. :( i was so upset at that. she still felt heavy. i tried to hold her, our gravity was off, her weight was so heavy..we slowly got to where i had let her weight pull us against the wall, all we could do from there was her sliding down the wall slowly as i tried so hard to lift her. i remember seeing her head against the wall, propped up. her bucket torso and human extremities laying against the ground. she looked so fucking depressed.

i was in this house i have recently frequented, its in one of my dreams here on the catcher...and im down in this basement room of it all. it was like a door way that i had to jump down from, the steps weren't there anymore. i was okay with going down, it looked cold and damp, there was a window at the bottom of the wall down there, very low to the ground. i was curious. (as im typing this im having dream flashbacks of other dreams that seem to pertain to this...im remembering a basement, and seeing my hand turn a cold metal door...maybe more on that later) i was curious so i jumped down. as i got down there i realized that in that window, were dead white mice and rats, strung like garland. then i realized that the ground was filled with spiders and ticks and lice and tiny little germ bacterias, i was thinking, *i need to go. all of a sudden, a group of people touring the property walked by the small window, i see their feet. it is oprah and others. i realize, *great this wonderful! this place needs to be exposed for what it is! and i thought how my grandma needs to be out of this place.

also, not sure what sequence this all played out in. i know there was another scene where man, who was the doctor of my grandmother was just laying casually across a bed. slicked back hair, nice suit, pretty wife standing nearby. i was so disgusted with his callous air and that he did not care that my grandma had a bucket for her body. he was so unapologetic.

another part of the dream i remember is being outside. at the top of this property was these massive columns of water, cascading down in these free from waterslides, where you were just riding this wave of water, straight and FAR into lake michigan. it was all just, water. i remember thinking, 'i gotta go get Ethan he will love this!' but i was freaked out about it. i did sort of float on one for a minute as i made my way up, and it felt fun. not sure what happened next.

another beautiful part of the dream was being in this room. all of a sudden a white baby tiger came from around a corner. i pet the baby, its hard to remember, i wish i could say it was so magical but i just remember petting the baby, and then a mama came around the corner. she seemed like she was totally okay, but then i felt it to be some sort of weird set up that i was being tricked into.

thats all i can remember now, based off my notes.

i remember thinking that it was so odd that the night before i dreamt my mom was holding me, rocking, and the next night i was holding grandma. i have dreamt of rocking her like a baby a few times. i love you grandma.

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