I dream I am in Chicago, in front of an apartment building near China Town. A lovie young couple walk out, the boy in a brown newsboy hat, being silly and doing tricks to make his girl smile. It feels as if I am a spirit following them, I stay near and yet they do not acknowledge my presence.
We end up at a country club. The girl's father is a mob boss, it seems now that all of the women are wearing black hijab. The mood is very somber, for her father has decided to hand her over to another mob family, because he fell through on some deal that they made. One by one her family kisses her goodbye, silent and crying. I am the last one to say goodbye to her. I hug her, and we begin kissing. I hold both of her hands, so I am facing her, walking backwards, she walks slowly towards the other family. We hold fierce eye contact, she begins to look like my friend Za. I smile as brightly as I can at her. "Remember me smiling at you," I say to her, "Whatever's going on, whatever they do, remember my face smiling right into yours." We hug and kiss some more, and my bracelet gets caught on her veil as I walk away, pulling her hijab almost entirely off of her head.
I follow the girl's boyfriend back to his flat. I am very sad, and keep running movies in my head of the new family torturing the girl. They rape her, and use progressively larger phallic stones to tear her yoni open. I decide to look around at the shops in China Town to take my mind off of it. When I cannot stop thinking in this way, I am panicking, and I wake up.
Next dream, I am in a town square in China. It seems that everything is made out of red brick. There is a holiday happening, loud fireworks, music, people celebrating. I am standing before a large cuboidal pillar, onto which photographs of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. are being projected. There is a speech by John Lennon playing, he says, "Only you know your song. I can't tell you your song, no one else can tell you your song. And when you learn to play your song very well, nothing can stop you from flying." To the left of the pillar a monk in red and gold robes is doing a demonstration with a long spear. For some reason I feel progressively terrified, and then at the end of his demonstration he commits suicide by stabbing himself through his belly. To the right of the pillar another monk is doing a demonstration with a spear. I try to look way, but even when I close my eyes I see him. At the end of his demonstration he commits suicide by stabbing himself through his open mouth and out the back of his head. I jet myself out a layer, so now I am standing in the Historical Museum in Bellingham, and am watching this on a tiny TV screen embedded in the beautiful old woodworking there. The monk, though he is dead, is still dancing. His face is covered in blood, and the ends of the spear bounce on either side of his head as he continues to spin his arms and dance. Wake.
Next dream, a nurse puts me into a brown, cylindrical container. It is a radiation device that is supposed to evaluate my health. I sit in the middle on a swivel stool, and my ears are filled with the loud noise of whirring engines speeding up. The walls of the chamber spin counter clockwise. I feel like I am spinning clockwise, though it may be an illusion. I almost fall off of the stool a couple of times. There is a window, and I try to slide it open when the opening in the wall moves by. I get my hand pinched several times because the wall is moving so fast, and so I give up. Now I try to meditate. I clasp my hands together with the index fingers pointing upward and reach my arms over my head, chanting AUM. But I feel my spirit start to leave my body, so I point my hands down in between my legs. Now my spirit grounds, and I feel cancer cells leaving my body, going upward and out the top of the chamber.
I think I am awake now, I think I have rolled over onto my left side and am spooning Chryseph. He psychically shows me a graph he has made of his income steadily increasing over the last several years. "What do I do now, Jam? What's next?" I go into a trance and through my mouth Spirit says, "Step into your role as a spiritual elder. Lead ritual and be a calm guide for people when they are tripping out. Connect to the community through massage." I look at him and in the course of his sleep he has gotten his head all wrapped up in the white gauzy fabric covering the alter next to the bed. He is struggling to sit up, not knowing that he's about to pull off all of the crystal balls and cookies on the alter. I laugh at him and make him hold still while I unwrap the fabric. Then I eat cookies.
Wake.
