Dreamcatcher: return to the altar

return to the altar

It is raining buckets at our house, which is in the woods. We are hosting a group retreat for the Sufis, and I am fairly stressed, helping people park their cars in the mud. Chaos. And then, silence. Calm, the rain is gone, and the air is a green mist, similar to the woods in the "House of Flying Daggers." I am standing one part of a web of trails made of cedar bark. My friend Latifa, and our sheik Hafizullah, are smiling at me. My other friend Qutbuddin, is standing a little further off, communing with the spirit of the woods. Latifa and Hafizullah encircle me, as if they are hugging me with their legs, and Latifa becomes another Hafizullah, so there are two of him encircling me, one in white robes and one in black robes. They begin to hum really low, all of this eternal moment is suspended in hummmmm.

(I wake now because I have to pee, but it takes such a long time for me to pull out of my sleep! I think I am laying in the woods and watching the glowing sunrise of mecca, so entranced by the glow of the east, and then quite confused when I realize that I am staring at a light shining through my curtain.)

Now I am in another house in woods. The dad is creepy, the family runs a tavern. I visit the tavern at night and flirt with their daughter. A Christian family watches us flirt and does not smile. In the morning the son leaves and I do too, running out to my car because I am afraid of the dad. It is icy and I make it two blocks down the street before my car spins in circles,clockwise, veering off into an adjacent street. I go back inside and wait in the presence of the creepy dad and silent mom who carries a tray of tea until I think maybe the ice has melted. Then i go back out and speed away.

I drive to my sheik's house, as everyone is leaving after class. I briefly give my salaams, and then get back in my car, following my friend Jamaladdin to a freeway on ramp. For some reason his car gets on the freeway, but the on-ramp for me circles around and ends back up at my sheik's house. In my dream he has a wife, who he adores. He leads me counterclockwise up a spiral staircase and explains how sad his wife has been since her guru died. There are flowers everywhere. Down another staircase, near the kitchen and two doors, there is a small square altar. The base of this table is an elaborate, bulbous flower, made of bent wood, supporting the table from the center, not from the corners. The layout of items on the alter is very simple and asymmetrical. A tiny vase of flowers and feathers, a small statue each of an owl and a rabbit, incense burning, and a red candle in the center. The wood is very dark, and I sit here.

I am in a school bus with three young women. We are on the way to the hospital because I am in labor. So much fear! I feel the wall of fear that so many women face when they are laboring, it is like a tsunami heading straight at ME. Looking out the window to the left, we are crossing a bridge over the water, there is a tall, narrow, white stucco tower with an exposed loft on top. I am not sure whether it was it is falling down or if it was built with only three walls. No glass in the windows, no doors in the frames. A big bed with white sheets is visible, as are sheer tapestries wafting in the wind. I wait for the labor pains, but it does not hurt. I notice that my belly looks about 7 months pregnant - not large enough to be full term, and the baby is still sitting high. I am not ready to have a baby! Did i miss the memo somewhere because I would have remembered being pregnant and having a beautiful bond with my baby, but right now neither me nor baby know how we have gotten here. I wonder if I am actually too lazy to even want to go through the efforts of vaginal birth, do i secretly hope for a 'failure to progress' so that the surgeon will intervene with cesarean? We arrive at hospital and the nurses never come.

For the remainder of the dream I am sitting at my sheik's altar again. I am here for a long time, meditating, everything is silent. I am aware of my breath and that it has no noise. The room is dark. I am holding my red tesbeh (prayer beads) over the candle to see if the beads melt.

Wake.

The Dictionary of Symbols

Mystics have always traditionally considered the feminine aspect of
the universe as a chest, a house or a wall, as well as an enclosed garden. Another
symbolic association is that which equates the house (and the above, related
forms) with the repository of all wisdom, that is, tradition itself (4). In architectural symbolism, on the other hand, the house carries not only an overall symbolism but also particular associations attached to each of its component parts.
Nevertheless, the house as a home arouses strong, spontaneous associations with
the human body and human thought (or life, in other words), as has been confirmed empirically by psychoanalysts. Ania Teillard explains this by pointing
out that, in dreams, we employ the image of the house as a representation of the
different layers of the psyche. The outside of the house signifies the outward
appearance of Man: his personality or his mask. The various floors are related to
the vertical and spatial symbols. The roof and upper floor correspond to the head
and the mind, as well as to the conscious exercise of self-control. Similarly, the
basement corresponds to the unconscious and the instincts (just as sewers do, in
symbols pertaining to the city). The kitchen, since this is where foodstuff is
transformed, sometimes signifies the place or the moment of psychic transmutation in the alchemical sense. The intercommunicating rooms speak for themselves. The stairs are the link between the various planes of the psyche, but their
particular significance depends upon whether they are seen as ascending or descending. Finally, there is, as we have said, the association of the house with the
human body, especially regarding its openings, as was well understood by
Artemidorus Daldianus (56).

Dream Moods

To see a house in your dream, represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it indicates feelings of insecurity. If the house is shifting, then it suggests that you are going through some personal changes and changing your belief system. To dream that a house has no walls, represents a lack of privacy. You feel that everyone is looking over your shoulder or up in your business.

To dream that you are cleaning your house, signifies your need to clear out your thoughts and get rid of old ways. You are seeking self-improvement.

If you live with others in your waking life, but dream that you are living alone, suggests that you need to take new steps toward independence. You need to accept responsibilities and be more self-reliant.

To see an old, run-down house in your dream, represents your old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings. Alternatively, the old house may symbolize your need to update you mode of thinking. To dream that your house is damaged, indicates your waking concerns about the condition of your house.

To see a new house in your dream, indicates that you are entering into a new phase or new area in your life. You are becoming more emotionally mature. If you are locked out of the house, then it represents rejection and insecurity. You feel you are being left behind.

To dream that your house is broken into, suggests that you are feeling violated. It may refer to a particular relationship or current situation in your life. Alternatively, it indicates that some unconscious material is attempting to make itself known. There are some aspects of yourself that you have denied.

To dream of a haunted house, signifies unfinished emotional business, related to your childhood family, dead relatives, or repressed memories and feelings.

To dream that a house has disappeared, indicates that you are not feeling grounded. You feel uprooted by a particular circumstance or relationship in your life.

To dream that water is rising up in your house, suggests that you are becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.

10,000 Dreams Interpreted

To dream of building a house, you will make wise changes in your present affairs.

To dream that you own an elegant house, denotes that you will soon leave your home for a better, and fortune will be kind to you.

Old and dilapidated houses, denote failure in business or any effort, and declining health.

Hyper Dictionary

Seeing a house in your dream, represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it indicates feelings of insecurity. If the house is shifting, then it suggests that you are going through some personal changes and changing your belief system. Dreaming that you are cleaning your house means your need to clear out your thoughts and getting rid of old ways. You are seeking self-improvement. Seeing an old, run-down house in your dream, represents your old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings. Alternatively, the old house may symbolize your need to update you mode of thinking. Dreaming that your house is broken into, suggests that you are feeling violated. It may refer to a particular relationship or current situation in your life. Alternatively, it indicates that some unconscious material is attempting to make itself known. There are some aspects of yourself that you have denied. Dreaming of a haunted house means unfinished emotional business, related to your childhood family, dead relatives, or repressed memories and feelings. Dreaming that a house disappeared, indicates that you are not feeling grounded. You feel uprooted by a particular circumstance or relationship in your life.

Meaning of Dreams

It is common to dream about houses. They usually symbolise our emotional and psychological selves. All of your experiences, stages of development, and parts of your conscious and unconscious life may be represented by that house. The house may be representing issues concerning a particular dilemma in your life, or it may be more general and comprehensive. Either way, if you pay attention to the details in this dream, you may learn a thing or two about yourself.

Dream Moods

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses. Alternatively, forgetting about a baby, represents an aspect of yourself that you have abandoned or put aside due to life's changing circumstances. The dream may serve as a reminder that it is time for you to pick up that old interest, hobby, or project again.

If you dream that you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby, then it signifies your issues of dependency and your desires to be completely care for. Perhaps you are trying to get out of some responsibility. If you are pregnant in real life, then a more direct interpretation may simply mean that you are experiencing some anxieties of making it to the hospital when the time comes.

To dream of a crying baby, symbolizes a part of yourself that is deprived of attention and needs to be nurtured. Alternatively, it represents your unfulfilled goals and a sense of lacking in your life. If you dream that a baby is neglected, then it suggests that you are not paying enough attention to yourself. You are not utilizing your full potential. Alternatively, this dream could represent your fears about your own children and your ability to protect and to provide for them.

To dream about a starving baby, represents your dependence on others. You are experiencing some deficiency in your life that needs immediate attention and gratification.

To dream of an extremely small baby, symbolizes your helplessness and your fears of letting others become aware of your vulnerabilities and incompetence. You may be afraid to ask for help and as a result tend to take matters into your own hands. http://www.dreammoods.com

To see a dead baby in your dream, symbolizes the ending of something that was once a part of you.

To dream that you are dipping a baby in and out of water, signifies regression. You are regressing to a time where you had no worries and responsibilities. Alternatively, such a scenario is reminisce of when the baby is in the fetus and in its comfort zone. In fact, some expectant mothers even give birth in a pool, because the environment in the water mimics the environment in the uterus. It is less traumatic for the baby as it emerges into the world. So perhaps, the dream represents your search for your own comfort zone.

10,000 Dreams Interpreted

To dream of crying babies, is indicative of ill health and disappointments.

A bright, clean baby, denotes love requited, and many warm friends. Walking alone, it is a sure sign of independence and a total ignoring of smaller spirits. If a woman dream she is nursing a baby, she will be deceived by the one she trusts most.

It is a bad sign to dream that you take your baby if sick with fever.
You will have many sorrows of mind.

Philosophy of Dreams

If you are nursing a baby, it denotes sorrow and misfortune. If you see a baby that is
sick, it means that somebody among your relatives will die.

Hyper Dictionary

Dreaming of a baby in your dream means innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies may symbolize something in your own inner nature which is pure, vulnerable, and/or uncorrupted. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses. If you dream that you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby, then it means your issues of dependency and your desire to be completely care for. Perhaps you are trying to get out of some responsibility. If you are pregnant, then a more direct interpretation may simply mean that you are experiencing some anxieties of making it to the hospital when the time comes. Dreaming of a crying baby, is indicative of a part of yourself that is deprived of attention and needs some nurturing. Alternatively, it represents your unfulfilled goals and a sense of lacking in your life. Dreaming about a starving baby, represents your dependence on others. You are experiencing some deficiency in your life that needs immediate attention and gratification. Dreaming of an extremely small baby, symbolizes your helplessness and your fears of letting others become aware of your vulnerabilities and incompetence. You may be afraid to ask for help and as a result tend to take matters into your own hands. Dreaming of a dead baby in your dream, symbolizes the ending of something that is part of you. Dreaming that you are dipping a baby in and out of water means regression. You are regressing to a time where you had no worries and responsibilities. Alternatively, it is reminisce of when the baby is in the fetus and in its comfort zone. In fact, some expectant mothers even give birth in a pool, because the environment in the water mimics the environment in the uterus. It is less traumatic for the baby as it emerges into the world. So perhaps, the dream your search for your own comfort zone.

Meaning of Dreams

Many people from time to time will have babies or small children in their dreams. If these newborns are strangers to you, you can assume that they represent you. You are the baby and the dream is telling you something about your development in a particular area of your life. At times of great change and renewal, a baby may appear in a dream and represent your potential and a new beginning. Some of the meaning of the dream may be obtained by considering what the baby looked like and was doing. Generally, babies represent innocence and are symbols of the purest form of a human whose possibilities are endless. However, if the baby’s appearance is odd, and if your interactions with it are bizarre or unusual, you need to consider your own well being (psychologically) and think about what personal experiences and psychological hang-ups have prevented you from growing.

Dream Moods

To dream that you are driving a car, denotes your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. Consider how smooth or rough the car ride is. If you are driving the car, then you are taking an active role in the way your life is going. However, if you are the passenger, then you are taking a passive role. If you are in the backseat of the car, then it indicates that you are putting yourself down and are allowing others to take over. This may be a result of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life.

To dream that your car won't start, indicates that you are feeling powerless in some situation.

To dream that you forgot or can't find where you parked your car, indicates that you are dissatisfied or unhappy with an aspect of your waking life. You do not know what you really want to do with your life or where you want to go. To dream that you car has been stolen, indicates that you are being stripped of your identity. This may relate to losing your job, a failed relationship, or some situation which has played a significant role in your identity and who you are as a person.

To dream that your car is overheating, suggests that you are expending too much energy. You need to slow down or run the risk of being burnt out. You are taking on more than you can handle. It is time to take a breather.

To see a parked car in your dream, suggests that you need to turn your efforts and energies elsewhere. You may be needlessly spending your energy in a fruitless endeavor. Alternatively, a parked car may symbolize your need to stop and enjoy life.

To dream that you are almost hit by a car, suggests that your lifestyle, beliefs or goals may be in conflict with another's. It may also be symbolic of a jolting experience or injured pride.

To dream that you are unable to roll up the windows of your car, suggests that you are showing some hesitation and reservation about the direction that you are taking in life or the path that you have chosen.

To see a haunted car in your dream, represents unfinished goals. You had started off on a path or journey, but never reached the end. Perhaps life had taken you on a different direction that you had planned or intended.

Hyper Dictionary

Dreaming that you are driving a car means your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. Consider how smooth or rough the car ride is. Whether you are driving the car or a passenger, is indicative of of your active role or passive role in your life. If you are in the backseat of the car, then it indicates that you are putting yourself down and are allowing others to take over. This may be a result of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life. Dreaming that your car is overheating, suggests that you are expending too much energy and need to slow down or run the risk of becoming burnt out. You may be taking on more than you can handle. It is time to take a breather. Seeing a parked car in your dream, suggests that you need to turn your efforts and energies elsewhere. You may be needlessly spending your energy in a fruitless endeavor. Alternatively, a parked car my symbolize your need to stop and enjoy life. Dreaming that you are almost hit by a car, suggests that your lifestyle, beliefs or goals may be in conflict with another's. It may also be symbolic of a jolting experience or injured pride. Dreaming that you are unable to roll up the windows of your car, suggests that you are showing some hesitation and reservation about the direction that you are taking in life or the path that you have chosen.

Meaning of Dreams

The car in your dream may symbolise the physical self or ego development and ego function. In that, it represents the way that you travel through your life's journey. Consider all of the details in the dream, including its emotional content (e.g. difficulty of the road, identity of the driver, direction of the incline). Recurring car dreams usually deal with life's major themes that may include issues of control and sensibility. By carefully examining this dream, you may gain insight into important areas of life, including to how well you are navigating from one stage of your life to another, if you are assertive and take charge or are passive. Dreaming about travelling in a car is a very, very common dream theme that provides valuable information in regard to a specific part of or long-standing theme in your life's journey.

Dream Moods

To see friends in your dream, signify aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Alternatively, dreaming of a friend, indicates positive news.

To see your childhood friend in your dream, signifies regression into your past where you had no responsibilities. Things were much simpler and carefree. You may be wanting to escape the pressures and stresses of adulthood. Consider the relationship you had with this friend and the lessons that were learned. Alternatively, the childhood friend suggests that you have been acting in a childish manner. You need to start acting like an adult.

To dream that your best friend is dying, suggests that some aspect or quality that your best friend possess is dying within your own self.

10,000 Dreams Interpreted

To dream of friends being well and happy, denotes pleasant tidings of them, or you will soon see them or some of their relatives.

To see your friend troubled and haggard, sickness or distress is upon them.

To see your friends dark-colored, denotes unusual sickness or trouble to you or to them. To see them take the form of animals, signifies that enemies will separate you from your closest relations.

To see your friend who dresses in somber colors in flaming red, foretells that unpleasant things will transpire, causing you anxiety if not loss, and that friends will be implicated.

To dream you see a friend standing like a statue on a hill, denotes you will advance beyond present pursuits, but will retain former impressions of justice and knowledge, seeking these through every change. If the figure below be low, you will ignore your friends of former days in your future advancement. If it is on a plane or level with you, you will fail in your ambition to reach other spheres. If you seem to be going from it, you will force yourself to seek a change in spite of friendly ties or self-admonition.

To dream you see a friend with a white cloth tied over his face, denotes that you will be injured by some person who will endeavor to keep up friendly relations with you.

To dream that you are shaking hands with a person who has wronged you, and he is taking his departure and looks sad, foretells you will have differences with a close friend and alienation will perhaps follow. You are most assuredly nearing loss of some character.

Hyper Dictionary

Seeing your friends in your dream means aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news. Seeing your childhood friend in your dream means regression into your past where you had no responsibilities and things were much simpler and carefree. You may be wanting to escape the the pressures and stresses of adulthood. Consider the relationship you had with this friend and the lessons that were learned. Alternatively, the childhood friend may be suggesting that you have been acting in a childish manner and you need to start acting like an adult. Dreaming that your best friend is dying, suggests that some aspect or quality that your best friend possess is dying within your own self.