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13 years ago
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1994
Sufi Kiss

In my dream my boyfriend an I have an apartment near a beach in New York. Two (one?) siamese twins force their way through the door, they are in a double wheel chair. They are being rude and trying to bully my boyfriend, so I kick the chair. It flips up and lands on them, only their legs are sticking out like the wicked witch of the west (when she gets smashed by the house in the Wizard of Oz.) Simultaneously I feel bad for them, and I feel that they got what they deserved. My boyfriend and I leave to go play at the beach.

Later I return to the apartment, though now it is my mother's apartment on the west coast. I am in her kitchen, flooded with deep sensations, impressions, guilt, grief. I do not see my mother. My sheik (Sufi guide) appears at my side, and kisses me for a long time. I am aware that his exhale is my inhale, slipping into my nose clear like springtime, warm like saffron steam floating from a pot of rice. Comfort, it is like I am a baby, held, weightless, thoughtless, existing only in trust. "You are ready for this transmission now," he says, smiling.

Wake.

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